Lately, wherever I go, I seem to be cringing at what I hear adults saying to children. It is often not just what they say, it is how they say it. Some of the comments that I have heard, show a lack of respect for children and their age and stage. Comments that involve innuendo, sarcasm, swearing or negative comments about other people seem to be common place among children now. When did that change? I may sound old here but when I grew up, there was very, very rarely a swear word or bad word said about other people within earshot. I am sure that plenty of things were said behind close doors. Where they belong! When did it become okay to overshare inappropriate information with the kids. In my job, I see the effects of this shift in adult concepts being shared by children.
Kids use these comments to other kids and think it is ok: Many comments that I hear at my job are about some kids saying the most inappropriate things to each other. When you stop and question the kids, they have heard their parents or an adult say it so they think it is ok. Usually when I ask them what it means, they have little understanding of the impact of those words.
Kids don’t understand adult concepts: Comments that kids repeat of an inappropriate nature say so because they think its ok or they want a rise out of the other child. They have heard someone use words to hurt another and they think it is ok. This is often confusing for kids because they have no idea of the meaning or depth behind those words. When you try to address this, they think that your being unreasonable because they have heard an adult already say it.
We shouldn’t want kids to understand adult concepts yet: Do we really want a society where kids are saying swear words and sexually inappropriate words and comments? Does anyone like hearing kids repeat these things? Kids brains are not ready to process the feelings and emotions that often go with adult concepts. They say things without understanding the emotions behind them. Why? Because they haven’t had the experiences and nor should we want them too!
Be careful what you say because kids repeat at the worst times: I am sure that adults have had an experience where they made a comment and their kids have repeated it at the worst time. I have seen people wish a hole would swallow them when I share what their kids have repeated. If it is a private, adult concept and conversation then keep it private and behind close doors. Negative feelings about spouses or ex partners, personal adult stories, drug concepts, sexual comments, jokes, your complaints and views about things need to be screened for the sake of your kids. Too many times I have heard “But my mum said…” or “My dad says that…”. Sometimes what follows next shouldn't come from the mouth of any child.
So please, I beg you, for the sake of your children, other children and society in general, keep the adult conversations to the adults! If you want polite, well mannered and positive children who people want to socialise with, then act like a good role model! It is time to keep adult conversations where they belong- with adults!
Kids use these comments to other kids and think it is ok: Many comments that I hear at my job are about some kids saying the most inappropriate things to each other. When you stop and question the kids, they have heard their parents or an adult say it so they think it is ok. Usually when I ask them what it means, they have little understanding of the impact of those words.
Kids don’t understand adult concepts: Comments that kids repeat of an inappropriate nature say so because they think its ok or they want a rise out of the other child. They have heard someone use words to hurt another and they think it is ok. This is often confusing for kids because they have no idea of the meaning or depth behind those words. When you try to address this, they think that your being unreasonable because they have heard an adult already say it.
We shouldn’t want kids to understand adult concepts yet: Do we really want a society where kids are saying swear words and sexually inappropriate words and comments? Does anyone like hearing kids repeat these things? Kids brains are not ready to process the feelings and emotions that often go with adult concepts. They say things without understanding the emotions behind them. Why? Because they haven’t had the experiences and nor should we want them too!
Be careful what you say because kids repeat at the worst times: I am sure that adults have had an experience where they made a comment and their kids have repeated it at the worst time. I have seen people wish a hole would swallow them when I share what their kids have repeated. If it is a private, adult concept and conversation then keep it private and behind close doors. Negative feelings about spouses or ex partners, personal adult stories, drug concepts, sexual comments, jokes, your complaints and views about things need to be screened for the sake of your kids. Too many times I have heard “But my mum said…” or “My dad says that…”. Sometimes what follows next shouldn't come from the mouth of any child.
So please, I beg you, for the sake of your children, other children and society in general, keep the adult conversations to the adults! If you want polite, well mannered and positive children who people want to socialise with, then act like a good role model! It is time to keep adult conversations where they belong- with adults!
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