​Parent teacher conferences are a necessary requirement of the job. Many parents do not see the anxiety, stress and headaches that come with meeting new families. Equally, the worry that comes with the dreaded call or email that says “Can I catch up with you?”. Hopefully today I can give you some sure fire tips to improve your chances of having a successful parent teacher conference, meeting or interview.

1. Remain calm: your stomach is churning, you may not have slept, you may have a headache and you may even feel nervous. All of these are normal, expected and human. Some people are just naturally more confident than others. Some people find interviews very nerve racking. Breathe and settle yourself or you will forget what you say.
2. Listen, listen and listen some more: often just sitting there and actively listening sets a good tone. You need to allow parents and carers the chance to voice their opinions, questions, concerns or wishes. Parents need to feel like you do, that they have been heard and respected. Listening is a two-way street. It can also set the tone of the meetings for now and in the future.
3. Smile: an obvious one but you would be surprised how many times I see teachers not welcome parents with a smile. A smile is one way to provide a warm welcome which helps create a positive atmosphere for the interview.
4. Creative a positive environment: try not to sit behind a desk or at an extreme distance. If the meeting is with only a small pair or group, it means that it is a more intimate setting. Barriers, tone of voice, tidiness of the room or even lighting are surprisingly strong factors that influence the mood of a meeting.
5. Accept uncertainty or disagreements and don’t take it personally: You may not always reach a conclusion. Not all things may be agreed upon. You may not reach a consensus but that is ok. The main thing is that what is best for the child is the centre of the conversation. It is important not to make it personal or take disagreements personally (I know, easier said than done).  Parents are not in your position and you are not in theirs. Like everything in life, we try to empathise but not all families, parents and carers understand the position of a teacher.
6. Not everyone will love you or agree with your decisions: this is normal. You may see things from a different viewpoint, things that families don’t see or do not have experience with. At the end of the meeting, families may not agree with your decision but they should understand where you are coming from. They may not agree with you and again, that is ok.
7. Don’t get into last year: oh that good old blame last year’s teacher! The time when parents say things that were not said to the teacher last year. The time when the teacher last year did not do their job. The easy thing to do is agree and in some cases it may be valid. However, the focus is this year with you.
8. Give parents things that they can also do at home: one of the most important things is that families and parents walk away with an action. Steps that they can take in order to help the situation. There is nothing more defeating than walking away from a meeting feeling powerless or like a failure. Parents naturally see their children as a reflection of themselves and their choices. So when you share information that may be challenging, some parents see it as their fault. It may come across as something different like anger or hurt but it may also be a sense of hopelessness or that they have let their child down. It is vital that parents have a direction that they can be part of. After all, school and home work best when they are in partnership.  
9. Have a plan: knowing the way forward and future direction is essential. There may need to be follow up meetings, testing, information gathered or support networks accessed so having a plan is very important.
10. Share your point of view: You need to communicate your point of view clearly and respectful. Honesty really is the key. You know yourself that you respect people who are honest and clear with their communication.
11. Document the outcomes and information: this will help you digest everything later. It can also help you to reflect or try to see things from different angles. It is essential for the next step, future plans and to help track patterns. Documentation is evidence and this evidence may also be needed at a later stage.
12. Speak slowly: I, like many others I am sure, tend to talk quickly. It may be because we make the mistake of assuming that parents understand teacher language, understand what we mean or can keep up. BIG assumptions. Parents, no matter how well educated, they still need slow and clear information. We all know what it is like to go somewhere important, like the doctors and walk out forgetting what was said. It is a horrible feeling and the last thing that we want is our families or carers to feel the same way.

No matter how much we would all like to do something different, parent teacher meetings and discussions are essential to a child’s learning. The relationship between families and schools is often what makes the biggest difference. Like any relationship, it comes with challenges. I find this is one of the most nerve racking aspects of the job. It doesn’t always get easier with experience and no matter how good you are, there are always challenges. The great news is that the difficult doesn’t always have to be the worst.
#parentconferences #parentteacher #twocreativeteachers #teacher #education #nailparentteacherconferences

​The beginning of year parent teacher interviews or conferences are vital. They are a good chance to develop a positive relationship, get on the same page as well as learn how to better support the children to learn. It is also the most nerve racking time. It is like beginning a new relationship with 30 families. Certainly a unique and challenging situation. It is also the best time to learn as much as you can about the child. After all, this may be the only time that you interact with this family. So it is important to gather as much information as possible. These questions may work for some situations. I have found most parents receptive. However, privacy is always a concern and people will certainly not reveal everything at the first meeting, just like you wouldn’t. Here are some of the questions that I find useful at the beginning of the year interviews:
 

1. Does your child have any medical conditions? This question allows you to gather important emergency information. Knowing a child’s medical history is vital as it often explains behaviour and sometimes attitude. As an adult, you know how much health can impact on your quality of life and performance and it is the same for children. This question also supports you to help prepare the supports needed for the child.
2. Have there been any changes since the last year? This question is a good one because it allows you to assess what happened last year and begin to see what is happening this year. Children change, grow and things happen. All of this is important because as educators, we need to try and build an understanding of what the child is usually like. It also allows us to compare previous results to current performance and learning.
3. Is there anything from out of school that you think will impact on your child’s learning such as a family situation? This is a tricky one because as we know, family situations impact heavily on a child and their learning. After all, they are with their parents more than us. Divorce, death, late nights, dietary changes, sibling relationships, living arrangements and general family dynamic are essential to know. It is also a challenging question due to the nature of privacy. I have found that nearly all parents are happy to respond to this question as they do want the best for their child. However, you will not always get the full story upfront as you don’t have a trusting relationship established yet. If you are getting an evasive responses, move on.
4. If you could have one wish for your child, what would it be? This is a positive question that allows you to get to the heart of what parents truly value and want. Nine times out of ten they want their child to be happy, have friends and learn the basics. However, it is good to know some of the values that families hold as important.
5. How does your child react to challenges? My favourite question. I always let parents know upfront that it is my job to challenge their child. It is a part of learning. Some children internalise, some children thrive, some children hide and some children get scared. Knowing this allows you to see what parents do and compare it to what you see. It also lets parents know what they can expect when there is a challenge.
6. How does your child manage change? Another question that I love. Change, especially in today’s schools is fast, furious and constant. Children need to be flexible and adaptable. Knowing how children respond to this can improve your understanding of them.
7. How do you find your child interacts with other children? This question always creates good discussion. You will hear of previous friendship disputes, how the parents are unhappy with certain children, what they are comfortable with and what they also hope for. Social and emotional aspects of the child are just as important as the academic.
8. What is the biggest concern for your child this year? It is always good to know what causes stress for parents. If you can help or assist in addressing this, minimising the stress or make it a priority, trust is established. It is also a good idea to find out what has been a strong area of need in the past.
9. What do you hope from me this year? I find this question beneficial because it allows me to work in with families the best that I can. Part of our job is being flexible and meeting the needs, if appropriate, of children and their families. I love hearing what parents want from me so I know where I stand and what I can do to support families.
10. What is the best way to contact you and which method do you prefer? The best way to end an interview besides the thanks is to ensure that parents know the relationship doesn’t stop. You are available for email and at times, you may need to contact them. Having accurate and up to date contact information is essential as it allows the relationship to be a two-way street as well as leave no room for excuses if communication breaks down. There is nothing worse than not having accurate or up to date contact information as lack of communication can cause a relationship breakdown.

While you may not agree with or use all of these questions, I hope that you can use some at your parent teacher conferences. You may have a question or two that you find useful and I hope that you wish to share. The first meeting in any new relationship sets the tone for the rest of it. So be prepared and plan your questions in advance. Good luck! #parentconferences #parentteacher #twocreativeteachers #teacher #education